Sadhana Is An Ordeal

The stresses you all suffer are the stresses in your reluctance, your weakness. It is time to start suffering the stress of great commitment, of great strength, of manliness, of humanness, of understanding, of the will to discipline, such that you do something different. Thats it.

And it is difficult, yes. That is why I call the Way of the Heart an ordeal. It is necessarily difficult. In fact, measure it: If it is not difficult today, you are not doing sadhana. Sadhana is difficult. It is a heat. It works against motions, energies, impulse, adaptations. It works against them. It confounds them. It frustrates them. If you dont feel so confounded every day, you are not practicing. You are not doing sadhana.

You all think sadhana is a consolation, a matter of feeling good every day. No. Sadhana is about feeling bad every day-in some sense this is true! If you are going to feel good, pay the dues of encountering that and transcending it. If you are doing sadhana, that is how you justify feeling good. Not by relaxing into your self-indulgent mode, your weakness. No. Do the sadhana intelligently. Be willed. Do the sadhana. You will inevitably suffer difficulties. It will be an ordeal. You can feel beyond it in any moment through self-Enquiry, real practice, real sadhana. And even the stresses, the difficulties themselves, may remain, but they will be peripheral. They will be just the heat in the pot.

You, conceiving of that process intelligently, will be able to endure it because you understand the necessity of it, the virtue of it. Growth hurts! You must hurt to grow. You must burn to grow. Burning is absolutely necessary. You want to feel good. That is why you remain a seeker, self-indulgent, mediocre, weak-willed, and weak-minded. You are on the teat. You are in bed. You are on the genital. You want to pleasurize yourself. You want anything but the necessary principle of ordeal, which is the only principle that allows growth. There is no growth otherwise.

Look at what a woman goes through to produce a child. It is not just sitting there and knitting booties! Every energy, every chemical, in her body is converted to the making of this child. Incredible stresses are in the body. The whole being changes. The whole body-mind changes. It is an imposition. It is a struggle. It is a glory. It is a delight. It is terrible. It is incredible pain in the birth process. That is just one image in life that indicates to you what growth requires, and exactly what you resist. Women eventually want to put kids in a test tube-no stress, only pleasure and intellectual acknowledgement, no work, no pain, no obligation, no commitment. No growth.

— Adi Da Samraj, 19 December, 1987

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