You Are Not The Knot
Sadhana or spiritual practice begins in that place where you make this knot, this fundamental discomfort. It has the characteristic of fear and you basically experience that fear as a kind of anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
If you are not really in touch with this self-contraction, you at times may experience the anxiety that is constantly underlying and motivating your behavior, your moment to moment existence. With this anxiety, you build all kinds of stuff on top of it and desensitize yourself to it. This self-contraction is the quality of anxiety, of your moment to moment existence and it is a stressful anxiety.
You may want to forestall the observation of this uncomfortable feeling, that realization. But you can’t begin real spiritual life unless you start to observe and understand the mechanism of it. But once you do and get bit, that’s it! Unless you find yourself out you will be continually running from it, covering it over with ‘lifes demands’ and ‘stressful situations’.
Once you do observe this fundamental contraction, then you can’t escape it, and that’s when sadhana really begins. That’s when sadhana starts becoming profoundly effective.
Adi Da Samraj, unpublished talk 1974 (Beezone edit)