Transcend the Self-Knot of Fear
Avatar Adi Da Samraj, 2006
DEVOTEE: I’ve always been a fearful character
ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well who isn’t? It’s very reasonable. Anybody who is in this situation, who is not afraid, doesn’t have any awareness of what’s actually going on. What you do about it is another matter. There is every reason to be afraid and if you weren’t aware enough of the potential suffering in the states of conditional existence, then you wouldn’t be motivated to transcend them. So as bizarre as it seems, there’s a kind of grace in the sufferings that are imposed on us through experience.
DEVOTEE: I always have a sense of fear both in the mind and body
ADI DA SAMRAJ: You fear that?
ADI DA SAMRAJ: Fear is inherent in the body in its separateness. The fear isn’t yours at all. The fear is IN the self-contraction. It is its characteristic mood. It is inherent emotion. You could be feeling fear now and yet there’s nothing dramatic happening at the moment that would seem to justify being afraid.
If you somehow or other bring to mind the potential of life difficulties in this moment or remind yourself of traumatic experiences you have had by remembering them and so on you can be remembering fear right now for no apparent cause which are entirely obviously subjective but nonetheless it’s still the same thing.
It is the mood of self-contraction, the mood that is inherited in self-contraction in the presumption of separateness in the presumption of identification with the body as the position of existence. If you presume that it is THE position of existence, then you start puzzling over what do you do about this instead of some way to escape this. There hasn’t appeared to be any apparent way to escape it and so fear becomes a fixed sensation. It becomes a chronic sensation in fact potentially. It’s very disabling sometimes.
So everyone has experiences of one kind or another, just the mere fact of being alive and what had to occur in order for you to be alive, birthing and so on, plus all the experiences of a lifetime in fact as you suggested imbedd fear in the body or the psycho-physical mechanism. This is fundamental to the condition of everyone here, of every human being here, of every living being although everyone is in a different disposition or sense of circumstance or state of mind in the present moment.
Nonetheless, all are sitting in a situation and everyone is in the midst of an activity in fact right now that is generating fear. Although generally speaking, people use various psychological devices to keep it subliminal or to generate diversions that keep them from feeling fear. They try any kind of intoxication to avoid feeling this. They even use intoxicating means as diversions of life, experiential means to divert attention through circumstances of different states of mind of emotion of body that de-sensitize themselves at least temporarily to the fundamental fear that is at the root of this bodily sense of separate existence.
This is not therefore merely a characteristic it is the actual state of everyone and it is therefore something that is right there, right in front of you. Everyone is always sitting in it and how much of your life you want to waste diverting yourself from it or consoling yourself and so forth or how much you want to intoxicate yourself is up to you. But you can’t really get rid of it because it’s inherent in the presumption of identification with your present situation. The state of separateness and brevity, change and inevitable death of this body.
You cannot escape that….you cannot escape fear unless something fundamental changes about your understanding. Through the experiencing of existence itself you cannot get rid of fear. There is no intoxication, no diversion, nothing that will de-sensitize you that is anything but temporary. In the long run any diversion is ultimately destructive the the process of understanding and any kind of balance and well-being or clarity. So you rightly if you consider the matter clearly have to address this fundamental matter directly. There is nothing you can do about it except whatever it is that utterly transcends the root presumption that is the cause of it.
Is there an understanding and a realization of existence that is free of the root conditions that you are experiencing fearfully? Of course there is and I’m telling you what it is. But don’t misunderstand me. There is something about fear that has a practical value. Without it you wouldn’t do what was necessary to protect the body under various natural circumstances that require an immediate reaction. For the sake of safety you wouldn’t want to be so benumbed in the midst of daily life that you couldn’t react to something dangerous and get out of the way. So, there is also something very practical and useful about fear in its moment.
Take cats for example. Cats are very sensuous creatures, walking or rubbing themselves, purring away and so forth. They look like they haven’t a care in the world but (finger snap) just like that, something comes up that requires a reaction – a mouse that they can enjoy tormenting (laughter) or anything requiring a sudden reaction they are immediately sensitive to the situation. The situation, which has a fearful characteristic and so much sudden energy and chemical changes in it. They’re always ready. Zap! (Finger snap). They do it and then in the next moment they’re perfectly calm again.
So this kind of capability for fear is certainly not something you would want to have tranquilized to the point where it was no longer available to you or you wouldn’t be able to function safely in the midst of ordinary things. That’s not a kind of fear that one would rightly want to get rid of unless one is just an addict of some kind who wants to be totally dysfunctional.
But apart from that practical usefulness of fear, the fear you’re describing is a kind of philosophical of philosophically significant condition. It’s the noticing of the Fundamental Condition in which you are living. The Way I have given you all is the way and the means for transcending just exactly that. It’s not a diversion or a way of being addicted to some manipulation of the body mind that just makes you feel good.
Take the practice of meditation and the common practice of it. You think that’s bliss. That’s no more bliss than an orgasm is bliss. It’s that kind of bliss if you want to use the word for it. In other words, it’s a temporary state of pleasure in the body. It has nothing to do with transcending fear.
It is simply an experiential diversion that covers it, so the kind of self-manipulative games people play that have the look of meditation or religion about them are devices, techniques. It is by these techniques people divert themselves from experiencing reality. Reality in the conditional sense is inherent, fearfulness, it’s inherent danger, it’s inherent mortality so the common form meditation isn’t worth squat.
It’s nothing more than relaxation. It’s just another form of self-pleasuring. It’s a technique and it’s temporary and if (Adi Da exhibits and blissful meditation pose…laughter from audience…and says….) everything is just so sweet….. you know and you were suddenly tapped on the shoulder by something with a mouth on it about this big (huge laughter) and you’re going to be immediately returned to your inherent sensitivity… too late….to inherent fear.
There are states that are meditative that look like that so I’m not mocking them entirely, but on the other hand, they have no ultimate significance whatsoever you see.
It is only in moment to moment realization, moment to moment practice, moment to moment renunciation, moment to moment realization that understanding takes place. This is all that works and nothing else does. All the rest is a diversion, a hoped-for pleasurable distraction.
Have you had some experiences recently that were traumatic? And this feeling has even created a kind of fear reaction built into the body that you’re afraid of now? You’re afraid of being afraid of being afraid but it doesn’t make any difference whether you’re afraid or you’re afraid of being afraid or you’re afraid of being afraid of being afraid or you’re afraid of being afraid of being afraid of being afraid or on and on to the nth degree. It’s still the same and you have to do the same thing about it and why add a lot of imagination to it.
Fear is all the same and it is completely justified. You have every right to be afraid. (laughter) You’re in a position which is completely justified to be afraid and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be so. You’re quite happy about the fact (laughter) of it, behaving and feeling quite normally. You appear quite normal to Me. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are completely well my son. (Laughter and applause).
But if you’re seriously asking the question about fundamental fear itself, I’ve given you is My Address to that question which covers the totality of your life. It’s not a bunch of myths or things for you to believe that is somehow supposed to make you feel that fear is justified and everything is just okay you see.
No. Everything is really not okay. See? But that’s a fact only from the point of view you are presuming and that is what must be examined and transcended and not by merely thinking about it. You will think about it inevitably but that’s not the way.
The Way is exactly as I’ve Given It to you. Which is to practice, do sadhana, and that’s exactly what you should do about it. This should be done moment to moment. In other words, endeavor to be constantly doing this sadhana and developing the real process of it instead of remaining at the beginning of it forever, simply bound in unsatisfactory states. Enter into the real process whereby they are understood and ultimately transcended by spiritual means.
Sadhana proves itself. Do the sadhana consistently for real instead of doing something else which is like sitting around and hallucinating your fear more and more. Don’t waste your time turning the faculties on themselves. Turn to Me and practice, instead of wasting your time doing what is unproductive about it and trying to get rid of something you cannot get rid of, spend your time doing as I’ve instructed.
Embrace Me and enter into the process of Communion with Me whereby you will utterly transcend not just the feeling of fear because it’s inevitable in this state here, but transcend the very state you are presuming to be in.
The sadhana of this way when rightly and truly understood allows the Domain of Reality Itself, the Divine Domain of Reality, that transcends conditionality, to Shine. That activity which makes all illusions including fear seen for what it is. As long as there is a self-contraction and presumption of separateness there is fear and there are no two ways about it. It’s inevitable. It’s inherent, so transcend this (raises fist clenched). The way is the way of transcending the self knot, the self-contraction which is not just something somewhere inside the body.
It’s the totality of the body mind that is participating in this and that is reflecting this act. This is what must be gone beyond. This knot IS fear, is also separateness. It’s the feeling of difference. It’s the feeling of relatedness. It’s the presumption of being identical to the body, or the body mind limited by, limited to it, limited by and to all of the ordinary appearances of conditional existence all of which pass and all of the grosser appearances of human existence all of which are mortal.
The transcending of this is in fact something you enjoy in some rudimentary sense in sleep. You are not here asleep basically anyway. At the moment you are in the waking state self-contracted as the body mind. You are asking me this question from the point of view and position of feeling identical to the body and its potential, its memory and so on.
But when you are asleep you don’t ask these questions and you don’t make these presumptions because after that ..there are dream state conditions. In that particular dream state condition the person was not feeling mortal or depressed or afraid and didn’t have any problem about it but then in the waking state all of a sudden it’s time to ask me a question because of this (makes a clenched fist).
The waking state is habitually bound to the activity of egoity. The dream state is a conditional state. It is filled with conditional appearances positive and negative. Sometimes in the dream state things feel very blissful and amusing even in a very high sense and at other times of course they can be very frightening.
The sleep state never feels any of those things and yet it’s not awake in the absolute sense otherwise. It is simply asleep to the binding conditions of the waking and dreaming states. Divine Self-Realization is to be awake to that which is Prior not only to the waking and dreaming state but to the sleeping state as well. It is completely without bondage to any limiting condition inherently so just in sleep you are not inherently bothered by waking state conditions or memories.
You’re not bothered by dreams nor diverted by them so in the Real State, the state that is already the case, the Divine Self-Condition, there is no fear and nothing to be afraid of. There is no self-contraction. This is worth Realizing don’t you think?
Apart from that Realization, fear is part of the condition you will inevitably experience. You can practice so that you maintain a fundamental equanimity and ability to function without transcending fear absolutely. You should certainly be doing that as a foundational discipline. Instead of worshiping your fear. You must enter profoundly into this process of this sadhana in order to Realize That Condition, That Perfect Condition, that inherently perfect condition in which there simply is no fear, no conditionality, no limiting force of embodiment, no rolling opposites, no opposing states of mind, only the Conscious Light of Divine, Inherently Divine, of Bliss, Freedom, the unborn condition which remarkably enough is also the condition now but why isn’t it obvious to you, to all here?
It’s not merely because you are here. It’s because of something you are doing. This is simply a modification of That Which Is Always Already the Case and only an apparent modification. It’s nonbinding and it’s unnecessary and does not affect the uUtimate Condition even now or ever.
It seems to because of a disposition of mind which you are addicted to in the waking state and the entire body mind all its faculties are fixed in the patterning based on that presumption that act. This act is habitual and has patterned your life, controlled your life., unless sadhana intervenes, and not the sadhana of busy self-manipulation. So what truly must intervene is My Very Person Here.
You must recognize Me, know I am here being moved to Me and have something else to do then rather than all the nonsense of your suffering. To be occupied with the Master is to not be occupied with self, self-contraction, its patterning. Even if…. as I was asked the other evening, you have to go and work on the computer or go on the or count the numbers for the month or whatever. There’s nothing about that that you are going to allow to disturb your turning to Me.
There’s nothing about it that can disturb or limit your turning to Me unless you allow it to. So you must find out first of all that I am here and recognize Me and must be moved to turn to Me and you must by turning to Me…. learn the secret of turning to Me moment to moment and thereby receiving my constant blessing spiritually you will come to the point where you are immersed in Me constantly and ultimately realize Me absolutely.
That is the purpose of existence and everything else is suffering…. so do the work necessary that you must do to be My servant and turn to Me with all your faculties…. every moment of existence and forget your fear even as everybody else in this room has already forgotten your fear (laughter).